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Even my Sweat is Sweating.

Oh I love that sentence:  “Even my sweat is sweating”.  I wish I could take credit for it, but I heard it over on “Ghost whisperer” the other day.  I swear to goodness, it’s exactly how I feel these days.

Now, I’m from down south, where ladies don’t sweat, the perspire.  And true to the south, my body had always only perspired.  When I was a kid, I’d go outside in the middle of the Alabama summers and work in the garden, and would stop when I felt that tiny trickle down my back – sweat.  It only happened after I’d been out there a while, because my body was convinced:  Ladies perspire, so do not sweat.  Ok, so maybe it wasn’t the words that made me sweat so little, but when I was a kid I was the only one who didn’t have to change clothes in the middle of those hot Alabama summers.

So I joined the military and moved on, only to discover I’d begun getting heat rashes.  Why?  “You don’t sweat enough”, said the doctors.  Really?  How weird.

I was in a car accident a few years later, and when spring came, a friend coaxed me into laying outside in the sun with her.  So I headed out, very self conscious of the purple, protruding scar on my knee.  I laid back and closed my eyes, when I felt this odd sensation.  Something was on my knee!  And it moved!  I sat up, and was shocked to see beads of sweat trailing off my knee cap where I’d had surgery to repair damage from the accident.  No other part of my body was sweating.  Just my knee.  At last, one part of my body was normal!  At least for a while.  It too went back to no sweating a year or so later.  I was back to the “Ladies only perspire”.  LOL.  My great grandmother would be proud, don’t you think?

Of course when you don’t sweat you instead do things like overheat.  Yes, there were times I suffered heat stroke and heat exhaustion through the years.  I found a cool bath always helped out when I got to that point, so that’s good.

But then something changed.  Yes, that terrible moment everyone woman experiences.  Hot flashes.  At first, they were mild.  They seemed less “Flashes” and more a “casual” feeling of being a bit hot.  I noticed my clothing was a tad damp around the waist, etc.  Not a big deal, but slightly irritating.  Nothing that every woman doesn’t have to go through at some point in their lives.

But then I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, a fun condition, to say the least.  I’ve probably had it many years, but it was finally getting the best of me, so I went in and was put on a medication which did wonders.  No, I wasn’t completely cured, but I was able to do things I hadn’t for the last few years.  Things like go to a zoo and not have to fight off the pain of exhaustion as I looked at animals.  The ability to walk more than 5 minutes without wanting to curl up on the sidewalk and wait for a cab that never comes.  So things were great!

Only one problem.  There were those nasty side affects.  And what is the side affect to my med? You guessed it.  Hot flashes.  When combined with the ones of that magical “mature woman” sensation, I suddenly went from mild hot flashes to set me on fire and get it over with flashes.  One day, two weeks ago, I had a hot flash so hot I thought I was going to find blisters on my skin. It exploded from within, rushing thru the veins and to my brain (or is it the other way around? Never could figure that out).  Where’s the marshmallow’s people?  Just hold them over my body and watch them toast!  You think I’m exaggerating, but I’m not.  Ok, maybe the marshmallows wouldn’t have turned brown, but they definitely would have melted. My hand, which was laying in my lap at that time, felt as if I’d just considered picking up a hot pan on the stove and caught myself “Just in time”, the heat already searing through the skin.

So when I heard the phrase “Even my sweat is sweating” I cracked up, and immediately took to using it.  It was the best way to explain how I felt.  I no longer was a lady of the south.  I no longer perspire.  I sweat.  My clothes aren’t just damp anymore, they are soaked.  The other day I washed my hair and let it dry naturally.  Wait, it never did dry – it stayed wet even after I went to bed.  Due to sweat, of course.  (That makes it sound like I never wash my hair, but I promise, I’m just making an example. LOL)

One simple warm breeze would send me into a frenzy of heat.  My favorite way to sleep, wrapped around a pillow, no longer worked, because the pillow would rest against my chest, holding in the heat, and you guessed it, I’d wake up drenched and ready to go stick my head in the freezer.  Luckily the hot flashes are tapering off because I’ve changed meds. Either that or the fact I don’t have the heat on in a cold house is doing the trick.

Two nights ago my teeth were chattering it was so cold in my house, but I refused to turn on the heat, knowing it would only make matters worse.  I was just considering bed, when sure enough, there it was.  Heat swept through my body at a speed ten times the speed of light (Only a slight exaggeration).  Definitely faster than my heroines when they get a real good look at their hot hero.  But the weird thing?  My hand, sitting on my computer mouse, was still ice cold.  How do I know?  Cuz the first thing you automatically do is touch your forehead, as though you have a fever.  Now that was a shocker.  An ice cold hand touching a burning hot head.  Wowsa!  LOL.

The good thing is I’ve now changed meds, and over the last few days I’ve noticed the hot flashes seem less intense.  I’ve actually slept two nites in a row without waking up 15 times to throw off the covers, and then 15 more times to put them back on.  Maybe, just maybe, I’m about to get back down to the normal, everyday, “That change” hot flashes. 

So if you’ve wondered why I was a bit quiet the last six months – it was because even my sweat was sweating, especially when around the computer! The heat coming off our systems was all it took to throw me into one of those sweet, adorable flashes of heat so strong I could probably toast bread.  Like the boy on Ghost Whisperer said: Even my Sweat has been Sweating!

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3 Responses to “Even my Sweat is Sweating.”

  • Beth Caudill says:

    Glad to have you back. ;)

  • My grandmother wasn’t from the south, but she was firmly of the belief that “Horses sweat, men perspire, but ladies glow.”

    “Even my sweat is sweating.” is such a Southern turn of phrase. Love it. Sorry to hear your meds made it worse!

  • teresa

    Thanks Beth. Now if I can just unpack the trailer of “junk” we brought home from my mother’s house. Today I’m so tired even my aches are aching. LOL.

    Kristen, thanks. But the good part is the new meds have it back to a dull roar as opposed to the lion vibrating the rafters with the pulse of heat. I also seem to be more awake, which is the REAL reason I changed meds.

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